THE GAMBLERS

Like my cousin Henry, I have a deep love of Johnny Cash* music.



Here's one I like to sing in the car...with the windows open...REAL LOUD...



"You got to know when to hold 'em...know when to fold 'em...



Know when to walk away...Know when to run...



You don't ever count your money while you're sittin' at the table



They'll be time enough for countin',



When the dealin's DONE!



*Yes, I realize Kenny Rodgers popularized it, but I prefer the Johnny Cash version. Check it out!

ROMEO AND JULIET: A tale of two sweethearts separated by the Hudson

I am here to tell you the story of
Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona -- uh, I mean, NYC and Montclair, where we lay our scene...



From forth a pair of star-cross'd sweethearts did emerge,
For a lunch-date of some apple juice and pizza.



My brother, Luke - impetuous, loud, and love-struck,
And
His strawberry-haired Lily - gentle, sweet, and slightly grilled by the recent arrival of her adorable spotlight-stealing baby brother.



Luke, looking for the exchange of his love's faithful vow...may be moving a little too fast.



Wisely and slow, my brother! They stumble that run fast.

Lily thinks it over, and decides that Luke was not stepping o'er the bounds of modesty.



Nurse Bernadette is skeptical. She asks how these two crazy kids can make it work when a bridge, a tunnel, and tons of commuter traffic divides them?



Love is a tender and fierce thing, Nurse B! Don't you agree, Ryan?



Fear not!
And don't be fooled by this innocent sand play.
These two are hatching a complicated real estate coup by which an apartment is bought and sold, a house is acquired, and countless local playdates ensue!



Young love and suburban bliss WILL prevail!

PRESCHOOL VISITATION DAY

Teachers. Administrators. Parents of the future Preschool Class of 2009-10.

I'm Luke Skinner.

Let me tell you a little something about myself...



[A MESSAGE FROM GEORGE:

Lock your classrooms! Hide your crayons! Nail down the furniture!]



A-HEM. Pay no attention to the small man in the striped pajamas.



Who is he? Oh. He's my darling little brother... I actually taught him the alphabet, and how to crawl, and talk. Matter of fact, he ironed this dress shirt for me.



[GEORGE: Admitting this kid into your preschool would be like throwing open the windows and welcoming a tornado into the classroom. Don't say I didn't warn you.]

ME AND JULIO

Lately, Dad has let Luke help out in the kitchen.



If Julia Child and Jamie Oliver, the Naked Chef, had a baby - that kid would be Luke, Mom says.

She calls him "Julio Child, the Little Chef."



He's pretty pushy about getting me to try his creations.



Right here, he's asking me why I won't eat his chili.



I've got four teeth, Julio! I barely choked down your Flinstones Vitamin Omlette.

I'm sticking with milk for the foreseeable future.

TWILIGHT TIME

It's my favorite time of day!

Storytime with my dad and my big brother Luke.



Hey, Luke: ever notice how I'm two years younger than you, but I don't need or want a pacifier?

I can tell - it's a sobering thought for you.



Of course, I do shriek and scratch like a monkey when Mom tries to wash my face...



We all have our demons, brother.

CODE NAME: BEAR BEAR

So, George:

When I was your age, I raided the fridge so often that Dad and Mom thought a baby bear was loose on the Upper West Side.

It's time for you to forage for berries for us in the kitchen.



Here are your instructions for the mission:

1. Speak to no one.

2. If apprehended, admit nothing.



Let me spin you some theme music.



From here on out, you go by "Bear Bear."



And.....GO!



Break LEFT, Bear Bear!



No, man! AWAY from the table - the kitchen is the other way!



Hard left, George!



Clearly, the rookie is still too green.

You heard it here first: I'm coming out of retirement for the next mission.