UP!...GOODBYE TO THE PACIFIERS

Today was the day.

After months of anticipation and discussion,
today Luke said GOODBYE, PACIFIERS!



We picked a special spot: a Central Park bridge overlooking Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis Reservoir...



The conditions were perfect for a pacifier air-lift: breezy, mild and bright.



We bid the paci's adieu, and released them into the wind.
We hoped they would be in Cairo or Bangalore by sunset...



They didn't even make it to 97th Street.
The cargo was too heavy - the balloons sunk as if attached to a wet diaper.



We lightened the load, and got ready to make a second launch.



And away they went!



(Hey - the Kitty Hawk didn't take off the first time either.)
Wish my Mom and Dad luck with bedtime and naptime!

I SCOOT, THEREFORE I AM

Yesterday morning, a very special present arrived for Luke.



As usual, I was anxious to see what the upside of this present was for ME.



Luke got a scooter for his birthday!



Let me see how low these adjustable handlebars will go...



Uh-oh - Big Brother is onto me.

(Just wait until Luke goes down for a nap, Scooter... you're my new stealth ride!)

LUKE IS THREE!

Happy Birthday to me!




I'm supposed to blow out THESE candles because it's MY cake. I hope Christopher doesn't try to sneak in here and blow these out as payback for his birthday candles last month.



Wait one second... Dad: this isn't cake.



Mom: PIE? Even Marie Antoinette got cake! Birthday boys need CAKE!

THE GAMBLERS

Like my cousin Henry, I have a deep love of Johnny Cash* music.



Here's one I like to sing in the car...with the windows open...REAL LOUD...



"You got to know when to hold 'em...know when to fold 'em...



Know when to walk away...Know when to run...



You don't ever count your money while you're sittin' at the table



They'll be time enough for countin',



When the dealin's DONE!



*Yes, I realize Kenny Rodgers popularized it, but I prefer the Johnny Cash version. Check it out!

ROMEO AND JULIET: A tale of two sweethearts separated by the Hudson

I am here to tell you the story of
Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona -- uh, I mean, NYC and Montclair, where we lay our scene...



From forth a pair of star-cross'd sweethearts did emerge,
For a lunch-date of some apple juice and pizza.



My brother, Luke - impetuous, loud, and love-struck,
And
His strawberry-haired Lily - gentle, sweet, and slightly grilled by the recent arrival of her adorable spotlight-stealing baby brother.



Luke, looking for the exchange of his love's faithful vow...may be moving a little too fast.



Wisely and slow, my brother! They stumble that run fast.

Lily thinks it over, and decides that Luke was not stepping o'er the bounds of modesty.



Nurse Bernadette is skeptical. She asks how these two crazy kids can make it work when a bridge, a tunnel, and tons of commuter traffic divides them?



Love is a tender and fierce thing, Nurse B! Don't you agree, Ryan?



Fear not!
And don't be fooled by this innocent sand play.
These two are hatching a complicated real estate coup by which an apartment is bought and sold, a house is acquired, and countless local playdates ensue!



Young love and suburban bliss WILL prevail!

PRESCHOOL VISITATION DAY

Teachers. Administrators. Parents of the future Preschool Class of 2009-10.

I'm Luke Skinner.

Let me tell you a little something about myself...



[A MESSAGE FROM GEORGE:

Lock your classrooms! Hide your crayons! Nail down the furniture!]



A-HEM. Pay no attention to the small man in the striped pajamas.



Who is he? Oh. He's my darling little brother... I actually taught him the alphabet, and how to crawl, and talk. Matter of fact, he ironed this dress shirt for me.



[GEORGE: Admitting this kid into your preschool would be like throwing open the windows and welcoming a tornado into the classroom. Don't say I didn't warn you.]

ME AND JULIO

Lately, Dad has let Luke help out in the kitchen.



If Julia Child and Jamie Oliver, the Naked Chef, had a baby - that kid would be Luke, Mom says.

She calls him "Julio Child, the Little Chef."



He's pretty pushy about getting me to try his creations.



Right here, he's asking me why I won't eat his chili.



I've got four teeth, Julio! I barely choked down your Flinstones Vitamin Omlette.

I'm sticking with milk for the foreseeable future.

TWILIGHT TIME

It's my favorite time of day!

Storytime with my dad and my big brother Luke.



Hey, Luke: ever notice how I'm two years younger than you, but I don't need or want a pacifier?

I can tell - it's a sobering thought for you.



Of course, I do shriek and scratch like a monkey when Mom tries to wash my face...



We all have our demons, brother.

CODE NAME: BEAR BEAR

So, George:

When I was your age, I raided the fridge so often that Dad and Mom thought a baby bear was loose on the Upper West Side.

It's time for you to forage for berries for us in the kitchen.



Here are your instructions for the mission:

1. Speak to no one.

2. If apprehended, admit nothing.



Let me spin you some theme music.



From here on out, you go by "Bear Bear."



And.....GO!



Break LEFT, Bear Bear!



No, man! AWAY from the table - the kitchen is the other way!



Hard left, George!



Clearly, the rookie is still too green.

You heard it here first: I'm coming out of retirement for the next mission.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD!

Yeah! It's Dad's birthday!



Luke and I have been hunting for the perfect present all week...

(Oh wait. Have you seen my foot?



How great is this footie? I never get tired of kicking it out at mealtime!
OK - back on point now.)



Luke thinks we need a pet. A leopard would be perfect for Dad.

Mom said we already have a sharp-toothed four-legged predator at home.



Luke is seen here scouting elephants.



I just told him that we can't get one of these guys on the subway, much less into our building elevator.



Oh well. We tried!



WE LOVE YOU, DAD! Happy Birthday...CHA CHA CHA!

GEORGE CRAWLS!

Believe it, people.

I am on the MOVE!



Allow me to submit exhibit A - aerial photographs.


Photo 1:



Photo 2: !



Hmm.

Perhaps some more illustrative photoes.

Here's me going for a block. Object spotted...



Moving in....



CONTACT!



(OK, my parents need to just tech up and get some actual video footage of me on youtube! COME ON!)

GEORGE SKINNER, MALE MODEL

So my little brother George is suddenly LOVING the flashbulbs.



He can't get enough of the camera these days.



Just look at him! He's like those minor celebrities who "accidentally" pump their own gas in full hair and make-up - hoping to get themselves into the tabloids.



He's got that whole - "stay back, paparazzi! ...OK, come closer" - thing down pat.



I can't believe it.



He's OPENLY flirting with the photographer here. So unprofessional.



He's putting together something called a Look Book.

He also wants the number of those Gap modeling people I met.



Think again, brother!



The only thing you're going to be modeling is my hand-me-downs!

ANGELS WITH DIRTY FACES

Happy Ash Wednesday, everyone!

MOMMA WON THE OSCAR POOL!

So guess who got a new pair of shoes?



Thank you Kate Winslet!
...Monkey shoes for our monkey



Thank you SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE!
...All terrain shoes for our little scamp



Thanks, mom - we love our shoes.



OH NO!

We forgot to thank the Academy. Perez Hilton is totally going to skewer us.

ST. VALENTINE'S DAY

I wonder what day tomorrow is...hmm. It's Saturday, I know that.

OH! It's that holiday I've been hearing so much about: Valentine's Day!



Wait! I know what you're thinking.

It's a silly Hallmark Holiday.

It's a conspiracy to get guys to shell out major cash for overpriced flowers.

It makes the single folks out there feel lonely.



And I say to that: Brother, I feel you.



BUT! This year is going to be different...

Oh, snap, you CAUGHT ME!



This sack is full o' Valentines for all you fabulous people out there - all the aunts and the uncles, the Grandys and the Boppas, the Amas and the Papas...

I, George Skinner, am delivering LOVE to all you guys this Valentine's Day!



And as for any single ladies out there: celebrate yourselves, sisters!

Like Beyonce says, Put your hands up!



(...If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it...oh oh oh...)